life could be erratic sometimes..

Another night but strange night..

2010-08-22T02:18:00.002+08:00

At times, when you are running alone at night, you just wished that you are running with someone.. I had that thought tonight when I was running alone passed midnight, not because it's midnight, but because of something funny happened with my heart. Scared the hell out of me.

This is the most unusual run ever. At first it went all smooth. Planning to run for 10km only. I don't want to push myself tonight, running at slower speed than last night. Went to usual route but seems that there's a plenty of this retarded motorcyclist that racing on the street illegally. I have to pay special attention not to be at a wrong place at the wrong time. But I feel good and decided to go for 15km again.

I'm wearing my Fastwitch 4 since I have not use it almost a month and I felt that the shoes shrunk slightly. I'm not sure if my feet getting wider or maybe because it's late at night whereby it's normal that the feet get larger at the end of the day. Anyway, I had to stop couple of time to re-adjust my shoe to get better fit. Only after 35 minutes of running, I checked on my micoach for the stats, when I heard the my HR is around 196 bpm, I was slightly shocked, because my HR never been so high with slow pace, but I keep on going with slower pace, recheck my stats, now even higher, it's way 200+bpm, and my pace is already around 5.30min/km. I slowed down then stopped totally, do some stretching and readjust my shoes for 5 minutes and continue to run. Well, now it seems to be ok. Slightly higher around 175+bpm and it's a bit irregular rates. Maybe I need to head back to home now. I don't want to have a heart attack in the middle of the night on the street alone. Planning for detour for McDonald's but had to cancel it. The strange thing is I don't feel dizzy or any uncomfortable pain on my chest or left hand or headache.

micoach : How bizzare my hear rate was...

I'm still watching my HR using my father's blood pressure monitor to see any changes. By the way, 3 years ago, I was admitted to ICU for suspected Bradycardia but it was a missed diagnose because my resting heart rate was around 35-40 bpm. So I have the right to be extra careful.

Unexpected run..

2010-08-20T02:25:00.002+08:00

Usually, I seldom blogging about my run, well, hardly. But tonight I was quite happy since this is my first time running at night here in Batu Pahat (my hometown) after being actively run since early this year. It was a good run but it was a wet one too. I did 2 runs both around 7km with 4.46min/km and 4.33min/km pace. This is my second run during Ramadan. Last year, I almost ran everynight but not this year. Last year I ran on treadmill at the place where I worked in Japan. It was easy to run on treadmill. But it doesn't give the real satisfaction like running on the road.

Anyway, I think I can deal running at night now here in my hometown just need to remember to bring my head light next time.

My Dailymile post will be here.

My first Half Marathon - Standard Chartered Kuala Lumpur Marathon 2010

2010-08-17T16:29:00.005+08:00

Early morning shot.

This entry is a copy and paste from my Dailymile page. A small entry for one of the best moment in my life.

Honestly, this run was a very special to me. Back in 4 years ago, I was overweight with my BMI was around 40.. I was obese. I couldn't run not even climbing a long high stair case without breathing heavily. I had asthma attacks almost every week. I couldn't do anything that most of my age group can do. I was in my mid 20's and my life is just plain boring. Until it reached on the day where I have this somehow depressing time in my life. Something personal that makes me want to change what I want be look at in 4-5 years time. Long story shorts, today I never thought of even run this far.. When I thought of running for 5km, that somehow was very good for me, but for 21km well, seems impossible. I was just started running for longer distance in just less than 3 months right after my first 10km race. So now, I guess the thought my capabilities changes completely.

The medal

The morning starts very early.. very early actually. I managed to sleep for I think less than 30 minutes around 8pm to 8:30pm then suddenly my roomate called me asking where I am. Me and him staying in this hotel nearby the starting point of the marathon. He ran full, I ran half. Well, after waited for half an hour, he arrived and he asked me if I wanted to join him and another friend from Singapore for a drink. So I said yes. But what made it worse, I ordered teh tarik (black tea with milk). That was a mistake. I forgot that if I drank tea at night, I won't be easy to sleep afterwards. So it's true.. plus the anticipation of my first half, I stayed all night trying to sleep. At 1 am, I started to preparing all the gears that I intended to bring/use. Lay the socks, pin up the bib, lay down the singlet and shorts, calves compression, water bottles, gels (which i never get the chance of using it) and so fourth. Just to make sure, if I managed to sleep and woke up a bit late, I already prepared the things that I wanted to bring/use. At 3am, I started to hear the noise from outside when others trying to get ready for the marathon. So I decided to join them. Went for shower and all and ready to the starting point at 4 am with my roomate and his friend.

Rained, I think plays the biggest part of my timing, as it was cooler than normal but it was also wet. The traction on my Saucony seems to be very good on the wet surface which I am really happy about it. But when there was the head wind, my gosh my fingers were almost numb because of it was too cold for me.

Almost at the end

I must say, this time I when I was running, I was happy all the way. I almost becoming a cam-whore.. Running and trying to destract those camera men/women along the side with the peace sign and big smile. I even gave a hi five to all the cheerleaders along the way. I was just trying to enjoy my run without thinking about the distance. At the starting point when I knew that I didn't have enough sleep, I couldn't care less about my timing which I had set way back for half marathon at 1:45. I was telling to my roomate that if I could finish by 2hrs I would be happy. But when the run starts, I thought they would put km marker for every 1km, but I didn't see any only at 4km. Then afterwards there wasn't many markers. So I was just couldn't careless about my timing and keep on running. Hardly watching my watch also helps. But when I reached at km 16 where things starts to get very funny. I had the urge of going for toilet. Oh no! That's what I thought. I was seriously wanted to stop but then I remembered when I was climbing the Mount Kinabalu, for those who stop for a long break, you will get a bad cramp. So I didn't. I keep on running with one determination now. Get this done and relieve myself as soon as possible. So that what I did and it was one of the reason for my timing.

Running with crowd also pushed me a lot. When I'm doing the training, I am running alone at all time. But when I'm running with the crowd especially, with the speedy crowd, I tend to run with their pace. I'm not sure why I wanted to run with the speedy pacer but so just happened I was at the wrong place. :)

At the last 2 km, one thought that makes me feel overwhelming when I just noticed on my watch that I am way below my targeted time, it was the thought of what if I was still over weight, I would never enjoy running, I would never enjoy challenging myself, I would never enjoy to give high-five to the bunch of cheerleader and most definitely I would never enjoy cam-whoring to all the cameramen/women just now. When I reached at the finishing line with the big clock showing 1:39:XX:XX, I gave out all the energy left behind sprinting with a wide big smile from ear to ear and practically shouting and jump at the finishing line (I'm hoping that there will be a photo, a friend of mine saw me at the finishing line and she was saying that I looked so happy, which I am). So this will be one of the high point as my runner's life. I never wanted to run to win, but I always wanted to finish till the end.

The result!

Thanks to all my DM friends here for all the comments, motivation, advices and supports. Cheers and keep on running!! My journey is not done yet.. I have another half marathon in ~~Singapore~~ Penang (will try to get below ~~1:30~~ 1:35) and I will start running for full starting next year with one target, to finish below ~~3:30~~ 3:40.

Yes, I am coincidental runner..

2010-08-17T15:55:00.003+08:00

Running is getting a lot of attention these few years here in Malaysia with the popularity gaining a lot of attentions from a housewives to white collar professional. But when asked why they start running, I bet the main answer would be just to keep active, trying to loose weight and some self achievement.

I start running because I wanted to maintain my weight. I want to be always active. But to join the running community whereby those that joined numerous numbers of races and events are not in my mind. So far I did 3 races. 10k, 21k (Half Marathon) and 12k. So to call myself an active runner, maybe not, but I think I'm a coincidental runner.

Me and Han Sia at Men's Run 2010

This came about when I met a newly met friend of a friend from my last race event Men's Health / Shape Magazine Run who are actually my eldest brother's ex-school mate. This friend of a friend just started running and they were messaging inside Facebook and my brother was saying that his friend just started running just like me who become a coincidental runner. Well, I think he's right. But I think that most of the runners out there also at first was coincidental runner too.

I'm taking a few weeks break or maybe days from this month of Ramadan. Not because I'm too tried for a run, but I can't find a good time to run. Later around 4pm till iftar, I have to get ready for the meal. Later on, going to Mosque for the solat and then prolly sleep after. Woke up at 4am to get ready for the meal in the morning. So.. it's quite impossible to squeeze the time, I do miss running terribly.

This is just a short entry.. going back to my Beijing story next update.

I heart CAFFEINE

2010-08-17T02:55:00.005+08:00

So it's confirmed that CAFFEINE helps endurance for runners!

Last few weeks, I did post some notes in my Dailymile page regarding the caffeine intake before the run to assist on the endurance during running. Well, I did read somewhere before about some research has been done previously but it wasn't in Malaysian climate. But I just found out about this article regarding the same subject but it was done in Malaysian climate.

Go Homer Go!

Quote from the article "Our study showed that ingestion of 5 mg of caffeine per kg of body weight improved the endurance running performance but did not impose any significant effect on other individual cardiorespiratory parameters of heat-acclimated recreational runners in hot and humid conditions.".

For full article heads to http://bit.ly/9KRSho

Beijing..

2010-08-17T00:08:00.000+08:00

After the 13 hours train ride, I'm just so relieve that I safely arrived in Beijing in on piece minus my butt that hurts so bad. After get out from the train, I just followed the crowd to the exit with my big heavy backpack.

By the way, just need to mention, I love this backpack not because it's easy to carry but it's the longest time that I even own a bag that lasted for years. This backpack has been through a lot. From the hurricane evacuee of New Orleans, crazy city of glamour in LA, sandstorm in Canyon, the everlasting heat in Arizona dessert (this is the most intense heat I ever get thru with), rough terrain in Yosemite, big hectic crowded city of NYC, casino life in Macao, salty ocean of Maldives, the elephant ride in Cambodia, tuk tuk in Bangkok, being a fashionista in Harajuku, memories of Geisha in Kyoto and now the 13 hours ride of China and it still in one piece that's only few to be named. Amazing!

Ok.. so the walk wasn't that short.. it was a long walk from the track to the exit. And once I'm out from the exit, I've been welcomed by thousand of yelling people of Beijing, it's just so typical in China, the louder you are the more attention you get even when you are not looking for one. Haha. The train station is conveniently located next to Marriott Hotel but I'm not staying there. I had made an emergency booking at some hostel somewhere out there. So I was wondering around to look for a taxi because I don't want to be bother carrying this big backpacks with me, did I mention that I have two of them. Alright, onced I saw the line I was called by this old mid 40's years old man. He was asking me where I'm heading to, at first I just kept quite I don't want to be bothered. He was speaking in mandarin to me. It's typical for the local to speak in mandarin even if you have the bluest eyes and the fairest skin. They didn't care about how foreign you look, as long as you are in China, you need to speak mandarin. Well, I know some mandarin, a little actually. This is where I get conned. Shit! But at least I don't have to wait for hours to get the cab coz he actually made me jump over the barricade then took my heavy luggage, of course not my valuable stuffs luggage and just went to this taxi. He asked for RMB 50 but I bargained, ended paid him RMB 20. I thought that was the taxi fares but it's not. I had to pay the taxi fare again after I arrived for less than RMB 20! Shit!

Arrived at the hutong (small alley where they said it's historical, nothing is historic at this hutong beside the aged looking public toilet!) to the hostel where I'm staying. But the taxi refused to get into the hutong since there was a construction going on. So I had to walk. Af first I refused, but then I just had to. I didn't realized that the hostel is located in the hutong, and I don't want to walk into the hutong since I feels it wasn't safe. So I just walked. By looking at my map, which I downloaded from Google but ended walking for almost 2 hours looking for this hostel. During the searched, I asked like 3 persons for the direction and only one that gave the right direction the other 2 well, got me into some where that I wasn't looking for also involved with some very dirty experience which I'm not going to share here only for me to know. Haha.

Ok, got to the Hostel, drenched in sweat. I'm sweaty and dirty from the walking and from the 13 hours train ride. Went to the checkin counter and the receptionist is a female receptionist whom I think that she's slightly deft. Coz she keep on yelling with high pitch voice. Trying to make conversation to me, but I'm not interested. Sorry, I'm just tired. But I still did talk when she asked me where I'm from and so on. Got my room card and bumped into this lady that just had a facelift also staying in the same hostel. By the way, do you know that in China, it's a trend to get a plastic surgery.. and it's cheeper than in other part of the world. If you plan to visit China, why don't you get something done here and there.. hehe.. Seems that Chinese now has become self absorb with their look. They are trying to get the sharp western features. So sad.. How I know this.. coz a day before I saw a documentary about this in the CCTV News..

Well, the room is not as clean as what I imagined. I staying at one person room with attached toilet. The toilet floor is clean but wet.. I guess they just had it cleaned and there's few strands of hair here and there. I just had to wear my flip flops.. just want to be sure. The room floor is sticky, since I'm always a prepared traveller (I am a very prepared traveller excepts on things like battery chargers and camera cables haha always missed them), took out my disposable towels with disinfectant spray and mop the whole floor using hehehe the hostel towels.. haha I'm not gonna use their towel on my body.. no way! You don't know how clean it wouldn't be. Bed sheets looks ok, but it would be outrages for me to bring on my own bed sheet, so I just didn't bother to change it. I know I'm not that crazy. But I did brought my own when I was backpacking in Cambodia and Thailand.

Crouching Panda..

SO I took a shower and prepared my itinerary for my day one tour. First thing first would be Zoo! I want to see Panda. haha. So went to the receptionist asking for the train station and heading out. The closing time for the zoo is at 5pm so I have less than 3 hours to get there, which I think is sufficient. Got to the subway station, also need to mention that, all the subway stations in Beijing and Shanghai it is compulsory for you to x-ray your bags before you get in side the platform. It's a hassle but it's a safety precaution. The subway fee is a flat rate, only RMB 2 to go anywhere unless you get out from the station and it's well connected. Very convenient not like in Kuala Lumpur. I felt like I was in Tokyo except that in Tokyo, you would see a lot of people holding/typing/playing their OWN handphone, ipod/iphone or any electronic gadgets but in Beijing or Shanghai, yes there's a few, but some are looking over your shoulder if you had happened to be playing/typing/holding with your phone. There's no personal space here in China. Even when you are reading books, they will try to peek on what are you reading. Oh don't tell me about when they talk.. it's loud. And they are allowed to eat and drink inside the train. Thank God they banned the spitting! Pushing and cutting your line is a survival skills in China. Don't worry, if you think that you won't do it, by at the end of the day one, you'll become one of them. Trust me. You need to!

Birds at the man-made pond

Owl in the glass cage

Got to the Zoo, paid my entrance and went inside. The entrance fee is for all the area except the Panda. So if you wanted and dying to see the Pandas, you need to pay another entrance fee again. I can't remember exactly how much I paid, but both cost me not more than RMB 50. Seems that the Zoo is only so-so. It's not well kept but they are doing some upgrading work. So most of the animals are kept somewhere else. I spend few hours in the Zoo, taking few snapshots there and head out. Well, it was already 5-ish and since I have no other plans beside Zoo, tried to walk around the Beijing city scape.

New CCTV Building

Beijing city is huge and spread out. Not like Shanghai whereby mostly concentrated in Pudong and Hunagpu but Beijing it's everywhere. So really need to plan out well to travel around. Since I'm an independent traveller and always will be, I just go where ever I wanted to go. But with some proper plan. So I spend the rest of the day walking aroung in the city and on and off with the subway. Subway lines save me a lot of time. Oh by the way, walking around in Shanghai and Beijing helps my half marathon training very well. I walked almost 16 hours a day and one time in Shanghai I walked almost half of the city from Hunagpu area, took a ferry cross the river than walk again in Pudong and then back. I think I did walk like more than 50km a day. I did brought me my trainers but couldn't be bother to run, the air is not clean, worse was in Beijing. On good day, you can see up to 500m away, worse day, not even half of that!

The National Theater near the Tiananmen Square.

Alright I think that's about enough for my day one.. Will try to continue soon.

Shanghai and Beijing trip.. This is long overdue post as of all my posts.

2010-08-15T03:19:00.004+08:00

I WILL RE WRITE THIS POST LATER FOR MORE DETAILS AND SOME PHOTOS. THANKS!

Here's my journey so far after the last post.
My trip to Shanghai and Beijing went well. Except at the part of the train ride from Shanghai to Beijing, it took me like 13 hours with the most uncomfortable seat ever, even by far Malaysia train is far better than that. I could had just bought a nicer sleeper seat but I didn't ask the translator to do it. My fault.

Shanghai was great. Met with my great friend Jerry. Missed talking some nonsense with him. Managed to spend good times with him, since he was busy with work due to few new restaurants were opening in that month from the World Expo in Shanghai. I spend few good times with Sunny and Moment too. Had few dinners with them and Moment's mom. She said that I get darker comparing with me when we met in Maldives about a year ago. We couldn't understand each other but we still managed to understand with the help of Moment of course. Of course I get darker nowadays, thanks to my running activities. But she said I lost a lot of weight too.. which has the same reason as I get darker.

I was supposed to stay in hotel when in Shanghai but 2 days before my departure, the time sharing people just told me that they had to cancel my booking because of the peak season due to the World Expo. But thank God that Jerry's apartment is available. So I crashed at his place for the whole time when I was in Shanghai. I missed a night where I supposed to go to Beijing, the train tickets were sold-out, extending my night in Shanghai.

World Expo in Shanghai is freaking huge. It's amazing! But if you planned to pay a quick visit 3 days wouldn't be enough. I spend full 3 days but only managed to get to 14 pavilions, which only 5 were consider the best pavilions the rest is just like something to do when you are not doing anything. Most of the best pavilions, you need to get the special pass which is very hard to get. There's no special treatment to foreigners unless you are a top official workers or agents or a diplomat. I couldn't able to get a pass for China Pavilion which is consider the best pavilion but I did managed to get to Taiwan Pavilion. Which is a worth to visit. Thanks to Jerry for his special connection with the official Taiwan Pavilion staffs.

Malaysian Pavilion is just too sad to describe, so I am not going to.

Overall, I love Shanghai.. I spend few days walking around in this metropolitan but very congested with people. It get so crowded that it scared you. Not because there's a lot of people but I must say that Chinese people are not as gentle as many others people. I've been to the most top cities in the world, NYC, LA, Chicago, Tokyo, Osaka, Kyoto, HK, Singapore, Bangkok and Atlanta to name a few, but my experience in Shanghai is far different, in terms of the friendliness of the citizens comparing with the others.

I shall update with some photos and will start talking about my journey to Beijing with the 13 hours journey in the train. Whenever I think about it, makes my butt hurts.

I'm gonna skipped for what happened before..

2010-06-05T18:30:00.001+08:00

I decided to skip for all the things (good or bad) that happened and not to blog about it. I'm gonna start writing things that happend today.

Well, maybe I keep few things to mention here. Kinabalu trip was fun! Managed to climb the mountain from Timpohon to Laban Rata for 3 hours and then Timpohon to Peak in 1:40. I think that was fast!

Came back from Kinabalu, didn't do anything much except doing some daily run. Basically, life is to bored these days.. putain!!

Last week, just signed up for SC Marathon Singapore 2010 for another Half Marathon. Next week, will be going to Shanghai for World Expo and visiting some friends (esp my buddy in Kani, Jerry that has been working there since last year. He's from Taiwan, but he's my good friend in Kani) and Moment and Sunny also. Both girls are Shanghainese. Can't wait, this could be fun. I will keep on with my training for the SCKLM. Then after few days in Shanghai will be off to Beijing for few more days. Coincidently, I will meet my mom and aunty there. I booked the ticket separately long time ago.. and they decided to go, but I didn't know that we are going to be in Beijing at the same time. I'm traveling alone, while they booked with group.

Hmm what else.. oh yeah.. I did LSD (long slow distance) run this morning. Went to several palaces that I never thought that I could run there. Pretty good route. Of course I am running alone. Pretty sad but happy, as I don't have to wait or paced with someone else. I did 21.92km in 2:03'52". Lately, I'm not sure if I could get my targeted time for SCKLM 1:45 that I set myself.. after being sick with fever, cold and cough that brought me not able to run for almost 2 weeks, I couldn't keep up with my pace anymore. Before I could run 21.72km in just 1:52' and this morning with the pace, I feel slightly tired and keep on slowing down and it shown with the time there. Even I wasn't thinking of running with the race pace but still with the fatigue feeling I'm not sure on the race day would be. 24 days to go!!

Right now, I am only running with one pair of shoes since my Lunarglide which I bought in Tokyo (special edition Tokyo only version) the out sole is just flat now.. totally cannot be use for running. I had use it for 4 months with a millages of 687km! Thank God that I keep a track on every shoes that I have. So next week, I will get a new pair and this one I will use it for my training in Shanghai and Beijing. I decided to get Saucony Fastwitch 4. I'll be using this for my race in SCKLM.

About SCKLM, I met a guy from Singapore through Facebook that we going to share a room night before, around Dataran Merdeka. Seems that he's good guy.. so no worries. We've been contacting a lot since we decided to share the room. I'm ok sharing or meeting with someone over the Internet. That's what a backpacker always does. When I was traveling in Boston, I stay in this single guy house for 5 days for free plus meals. Met him over the internet, during that time there wasn't surfing couch program, i meet him through Craiglist haha.. it's dangerous but I'm still here.. Anyway, I'm comfortable to do that, I traveled all over place just meeting up people from internet.

Oh by the way, I just realised that I never actually finish my experience over the Hurricane Katrina from previous blog.. poop! I need to think what had happened during those difficult days.. I still have the Task Force T-Shirts that I worn during the humanitarian work when I came back to the city after katrina.. Gosh it's been almost 5 years.. and I still have the vivid memories about it! Miss NOLA!

And last night, I decide that, if I didn't get a job oversea again, I'm going to trade off my chef career to help out my father business and soon take over his place in 2011. And 2011 will be my year of running full marathon, that would be Standard Chartered Hong Kong Marathon in February 2011.

That's all for today.. and see if I will post new entries tomorrow.. hope so....

2010-05-28T11:23:00.003+08:00

OOOOKK! I'm sucks at blogging these days. I keep on saying that I should keep on blogging but no.. I'm not sure what should I write about. But these days, few things that always been in my head. First, my job situation (which I'm not really want to write about, basically, I don't need to think too much about it which I should but I'm not.. well, that's it..) and my running. So I guess for sure I will write about my training and stuffs for my first upcoming Half Marathon this coming June 27, 2010 for Standard Chartered KL Marathon 2010 and beside that, I'm traveling to Shanghai and Beijing next week. I guess that's so.

So here it is.. Training for my running seems to be fair, for those that just bump into my blog and haven't catching up my previous entries which was back years ago.. I was an quite obese but decided to start getting active again since 2005 before and now recently when I just came back from Japan, I decided to run again, really run. Since there's nothing good that I can do here. Living in Batu Pahat, there's no good gym to do weight training, so I decided to go for run since I've been running for a good on and off about 2 years, I think. Last time that I could remember running on the road when I was working in Macao back in 2008. Then, in Maldives, I just running on treadmill for whole time. But I did run few times on the road again in Okinawa, Japan. But not too often because I'm worried about getting back my injury on my right knee.

So when I came back to Malaysia, I decided to give a go for a run on the road. I haven't run for about 3 months since, so when first I started it was horrible run. To be honest, it was so bad with my stamina and stride. I did feel some uncomfortable feeling on my right knee again.. I decided to quit, again! Sheesh! Then I start reading a lot about running and returning to my old book which I bought when I was still working in US, Chi Running. Studying it for about a month. I skipped the boring parts and all.. haha.. express reading. Getting to know about the posture, stride and all. I start running again. This time with the knowledge that I got from the book. Well, it does improve my run. It took me awhile to do actually feel use to the technique. I build my stamina and distance over time. 5K is normal before on treadmill. 10k is not very often. 15k is impossible to me at all during the treadmill time.

I build my pace and distance gradually, took me over 3 months just to get accustomed with the technique, pace and distance. My strides are shorter compare with other runners that regularly runs at Tasik Y, Batu Pahat. So 3 months passed, I managed to build my running pace, stride and stamina to run 15km without stopping. But I don't know maybe Batu Pahat air is polluted, that I had few asthma attacked at least few times in a month. It didn't stop me to run. I had to run sometimes with the ventilator in my pocket. When I was living oversea, maybe only had few times in a year.. not in a month here in Malaysia. So I've been careful with the run every now and then, I only run when I feel that I won't get asthma or taking the ventoline tabs that morning, just to make sure I won't get later at afternoon.

My progress has brought me a new self confident about my running. After the 10k Energizer Night Race, I decided that I think I could do half marathon. So when Standard Chartered KL Marathon is announced, without hesitation, I signed on for my first Half Marathon.

So far, the training has been great! I think I am ready for the run.. but still I am still doing what is the best for me to reach my target for this run, 1:45!

2010-04-29T16:29:00.000+08:00

It's been another long absent from my last post. For the last few years, when I started blogging, I still couldn't figure out about what I should be writing about. As far as I concerned, I just start writing about things that happened to me on daily basis.. but now things are change.. I decided to write about my running.

I've been running since about 4 years ago, but never really pickup on competition or any activity that involve a group of people sweating, heavy breathing and running for one motivation, just to cross the finish line. I did the Energizer Night Run 2010 with one of my ex-schoolmate, Han Sia which I've been in touch whenever I go.

Honestly, that run was superb. I did my best PR for 10km of 44' 31". Never thought that I could run that fast even some says that it's not really 10KM but who cares. The best part is, I ran with a cold and fever. I caught those illness a day before the run. Wanted to cancel the run but I am very determine to get over it and just run.

Then the next day after, well, I really got sick and I have to travel back to Johor, packing some stuffs coz I'm heading to Kuching and Kota Kinabalu for climbing the Mount Kinabalu. That will be later!

2010-02-05T10:46:00.002+08:00

I don't know how many people actually following my blog as I'm being hiatus for consider a very very long time. It's been a crazy journey for the pass a year or so since my last entry. The last post was when I was still in Maldives then after a year in Maldives, my journey off to Japan. I was in Ishigaki (Yaeyama Prefecture, Okinawa-Ken) for about 6 months or so.. And now I'm back in Malaysia.. well, it's been 2 months today!

So maybe it's not too late for me to start blogging again... about anything that went through my head.. I keep it as simple as it is.. as what mylife has been.. keep it simple mind, will keep you pretty happy with everything shits that might stumble upon!

So.. 2 months back... i think this one is for sure will be a good one. I left my last job as a Chef and now i'm going for business. There's a reason why i left my career as a chef. More if it as my decision and family.

First, I think someone had just killed my aspiration to be a chef.. That person is my Ex-Excutive Chef.. which was stupid enough to be called a Chef. SHE was stupid enough that never sees what we did for her. Well, stuck-up bitch what I used to called her.

Second, I had enough working with this company that I used to work with. Hate the people in the company and everything that is has.

Third, my father need me to be back home.

Fourth, I'm thinking on working for some other project, for myself.. stay tunned..

Fifth, I want to travel and explorer the world, with my own time. Take my off time anytime that I want.. haha..

2008-07-05T23:14:00.006+08:00

Haha.. I'm laughing at myself now.. Now I believe about the earnest of being patient.

Life now in Maldives getting better.. even without Starbucks and McDonald's (and McCafe.. damn i missed it now) and of course Satay and KFC.. I'm such an addict for mass consumer product.

I'm loving my job for now. The new product was launched with no major difficulty. I have a very good team to support me. Well, another Malaysian that we click along since very first day. She such a company to keep me busy here.. haha with work that is.. but still hang out buddy also.

Last week, the regional director from Singapore came and visit to see how's the new product is.. since he was here during the launch a month ago.. and he is very happy with it. He even start to discuss about my future plan with this company. Well, I also surprised since I didn't expected for him to pop the questions so early since it's only been few month for this season. I have signed a year contract for 2 seasons.. so I told him that I decided to finish my contract here for a year.. then only I can decide.

Then this Malaysian friend of mine (well there's only 4 Malaysians here, and I'm the second person that hold a high possition after her; and we have at least 10 different nationalities here) told me about all the stuffs about how to work here better. I mean in this company. I think I might give a go if things looking very good. But I told the Director about my direction in this company, my thoughts and my goals. He said it's okay if I leave the company and come back later. I have my plan now. I want and dream to work with a better company that can promise me a great experience than I know where to move around. Also she mentioned that it's a bit too late for me to move and jump around which is true since I'm aging.. but still if I trust myself and believe that I could do, why not..

Still I have another dream of mine.. Photography.. well.. i have to put on hold for couple of months since I'm busy with something else here.. RUNNING!! Yeah.. I'm back on the run.. Seriously.. now I have to be extra careful with it.. since I don't want to injure myself again..

Btw, I have bought a new digital camera back in Febuary.. that I still not using to the fullest.. Nikon D300.. well, it's a long term investment. Now and then I'm still playing with it.. just that I don't really give a good time to make use of it.. maybe in few weeks time I will do..

I have nothing to complain about life now.. I have understand the state of enjoying of the fullest in life before it's too late.. I think my life is balanced.. Alhamdullilah.. Insyallah.. I will keep this way.. Till then.. Life is beautiful.. (there's a funny things going on with this phrase)

Love and peace..

2008-04-07T19:41:00.002+08:00

HELLO WORLD! AGAIN! HAHA

I need to stop on keeping doing like this.
It's been a long hiatus.. The last post was when I was in Malaysia.
For those who didn't know.. I was in Macau since August 2007 till March 2008. Things weren't working out well. Not I am in Maldives. Sunny islands, beautiful coral and clear water.

Well, last year before I went to Macau, I was admitted to ICU for 4 days. That actually a sign for me not to go. But I was insisted to leave. I was in ICU for being diagnose with weak heart. By this stupid so called specialist. Well, he is a specialist but not cardiac specialist, he is ENT specialist. I was misdiagnose and mispending the money on the hospital bills. It was almost RM6K for that matter! FUCKING BULLSHIT!!

Alright, I am over it already. Now, I'm in Maldives. So I will try not to keep on a very long hiatus on updating this blog alright!

I promise!

Well, I can post the blog using dial up, but now today i am in Male, inside this telephone shop, dragging my this-heavy-like-a-stone laptop of mine. Talking about this laptop, well, it's almost 3 years old, been to 4 countries, dropped by this stupid bag boy in New York City and still looking strong! Love this bitch! I bought a new digital camera also, now I bought with my heart contented, Nikon D300. The old one, gave for a LOAN to my sister. The Sony, well, when I bought it, i kindda have to settle for it, since I don't have much experience in photography and all. Now I am ok to move forward to DSLR. Love the D300! Well, now need to spend more time taking and reading about how to take a great composition!!
Alright for now!
See ya!

2007-07-18T21:25:00.000+08:00

Everything seems to be just right for now. The job in Macau is confirmed. The work permit is done. The date of leaving is confirmed. So again, everything seems to be A OK or else. But I'm not.. Last night I didn't sleep at all because thinking about this. Life in Macau. How different it would be than in US. I know for sure that I won't about to go to gym like I am right now. That's not much of a problem. The real problem is that I'm scared that I can't adjust myself living in Chinese speaking nation. Where it's totally different from here. To that in mind, I'm having a cold feet about this. The thought that makes me want to go is, I want to be away from Malaysia, I want to see and live in different country, as in Asia. This would be, again, a chance of a lifetime. I want to know how different my life would be, the life in US (Western country) and East. This is going to be interesting. This will be a challenge for me. I also want to learn new technique for my job. I want to move on and learn as much as I can. I want to step-up to have a better position. I want to build my resume and not forgetting I want to travel.

I haven't yet leave Malaysia or even start packing, but I already planned my travel itinerary for my next vacation. Haha.. Yeah.. I decided to go to Sydney, Australia. The good thing about traveling nowadays is that there's a ala carte of making a choices with the current No Frills Airlines (it's not Air Asia entirely). I have checked the cheap or budget-minded-traveler to choose for airline that fly from and out of Macau. Tiger Airlines, Viva Macau and of course Air Asia. So right now, I have decided to work hard, save as much as I can and travel to Sydney by mid 2008 (better if I could get few weeks off on my birthday week).

For all reason, I am very excited to start my new job in the new world with a bunch of new people in the most luxury hotel in Asia. Can't wait!!

2007-07-01T17:49:00.000+08:00

This definitely sucks as you might think.. but for me, it's a real issue. It's July 2007, I'm back for almost a year now. Damn.. what did I ever accomplished since I came back? Hmm.. Nothing a big deal, but for what I have understand now, I hate to be 'stuck' here, where I called HOME.

Yesterday, I went to Ikano Power Center, went to Ikea to get something. Then I went to Cold Storage just want to find out if the have my favorite cereal of all time. YES THEY DO HAVE IT! KASHI GO LEAN! YAY! I was excited. I said YES! I smiled! I'm happy. They actually just brought in to Malaysia like 2 or 3 days ago. Coz they have it display all over Cold Storage. But to be despaired the price is DAMN EXPENSIVE! TOO EXPENSIVE for a box of cereal. When I was in State that was my staple cereal for all time. Sometimes I mixed it with Honey Bunch Of Oats Almond or Banana.. But most of the time I ate just it is. Can you imagine for a box of cereal the price is RM24.00? For 400g of cereal.. I used to pay for US$5.50 or less if I bought it from Amazon (I did bought 4 boxes of that plus, 3 boxes of Kashi TLC (love that too.. they do have it in Cold Storage for RM12.00 per box) and a box of 12 bars Kashi Protein Bar (for my backpacking trip). I think the whole things didn't cost me more than US$35 at all. Plus I don't have to pay states tax (since I bought it from Amazon) and shipping (since I was a Amazon Prime Shipping member , you don't have to pay the shipping if the total more than US$25. But I did get 3 days shipping for free. I was overjoyed when I got the big box from Amazon that filled with cereals. My colleagues thought I was kidding when I told them it's cereal.. coz nobody bought cereals from Amazon.. haha.

So since it's overly expensive, I had to say no. I didn't get it at all. Maybe one day if I'm really really need it.. then I will buy it and eat it all by myself. No sharing!! Haha

I'm having an interview tonight. The job for the Caribbean position. Now, I'm still clueless which one I will choose if I got the job. Asian country or Caribbean? DAMN!!

Later...

2007-06-30T22:13:00.000+08:00

Just an update after a while..

Things are going well.. well so well that yesterday was my last day but I didn't go to work at all. Couldn't care less about it.. I just hate that place. Well.. in fact the Sous Chef and me did not talking at all. I don't know why but I just don't want to be bothered with it. But it did makes leaving so much easy... well.. i do have few friends that I get along with but others.. well they are two-faced cows..

I turned down the PCMC offer. I know.. everyone told me just to hold on it first.. but well, if i agreed, I have to tender my resignation for a month, even on the probation period. Well, that sucks.. The benefits.. nah.. nothing.. Not really like what I have expected. Pays was a little bit better but can't beat the over c job..

Alright.. I got an interview pending for another job somewhere on the other side.. nearby Bahamas.. but I'm not so sure right now.. the offers and salary and the benefits.. well.. right now, I'm thinking of just the job for me to grow.. no matter where.. I need to grow my career.

Later...

2007-06-16T10:15:00.000+08:00

Went back to Johor last week. Spend the whole weekend there. Went to a friend wedding with one of my closest friend back in High School days, A. But sadly, I didn't met anyone from my high school mates at all. I was hopping to bump into them but I guess I was wrong. "A" and me were talking that after certain age, all of us kindda losing track on our school friends, which is sad because none of us wanted to keep in touch, except only few of us. I mean only few of us, maybe just 3 of us. Anyway, the trip back to Johor was very good. Even I had to get another MC on Sunday since I didn't managed to get the ticket back to KL. Thank God that "A" was going back to KL to I just tagged along with him.

Monday, I submitted my resignation letter. Never feel so good about it! That's my second resignation letter this year! How stable my career is!! But I have another plan right now which going really well now.

Tuesday, got a call from a high profile company in Malaysia offering a job that I went for the interview last month. They offering a good pays and kindda good benefits too. They gave me only one day to think it through. Which is really pissed, because I really need more time to think about it. I had to say NO since I already have another plan. So just focus on this plan. Anyway, I finalized all the paper work except waiting for the Good Conduct Report from the M'sian Gov. Then I'm all set to board the flight! Yeah!!

Feel sluggish this whole week, didn't go to the gym as much as I wanted. Feel like gained a few kilos. But maybe I did with all the eating at work. Darn, I wish I could have more discipline like what I used to have... I think I'm having eating disorder now.

2007-06-07T12:49:00.000+08:00

I think I'm done with my current job. I never feel so unmotivated at all ever in my career life. Called me unprofessional but I don't care. But ever since I got this job I know it won't be long as I never like the environment, the management and also my job descriptions. Mainly I decided to leave this job because it has nothing to do with my specialty at all. All I have done basically just like a low level worker. I have nothing to learn or even improve.

I'm going back to Johor tomorrow. I'm going to think about my next step. I'm going to tender my resignation on Monday. It would be 2 weeks notice as supposed for a month notice for even in probation period. We had to work 9 hours a day (an hour deducted for break time) which is stupid since we still have to work for 6 days a week. There's so many fuck-up shits with this current company that I'm working with. It's time for me to move on.

Today, I'm taking an MC which I never had done before in my career life. This is a first time. Which I'm ashamed that I have to do it since I would never ever done it. But then again, there's a lot of things to do today. I have to go to the lab to take my lab result. I'm getting everything done for my medical report for the my Macau job. Should have completed but since I was working overnight for the past weeks don't have time to do it at all. The X-ray should have done by y'day but the clinic having problem with the radiologist that she told me can't be done as early as I wanted. She told me it might be ready by tomorrow. Hopefully it's done by tomorrow so that I could send the report tomorrow before going back to Johor. I need to finish this whole thing ASAP.

I called Marriott New Orleans last monday. My ex-exec chef is going away to California. I need to give an email to him to congratulate him on his next post. I talked with Ms Caroline for almost half an hour. We talked about lots of stuffs. I haven't spoken with her since I got back. She kept asking me when I'm going to come back to New Orleans, which I can't answer it at all. Things have changed. If I got the job in UK before, I will go back there but now since I'm going to be based in Asia, so it's a little bit hard go back there. But I still have plan to go back there for a visit only. I missed New Orleans...

2007-06-05T17:52:00.000+08:00

Last weekend was some of hectic weekend in my entire life. Not hectic like tired, but more like life threatening experience in my life.

I'm supposedly to be in Macau now, on my new job. But still, I'm in Malaysia in Johor, resting. Although I don't feel like resting because I'm doing absolutely fine and fit because I am. Just that I have a grief from what had happened last weekend.

For those who didn't know, I was admitted in Intensive Care Unit in the specialist hospital in Batu Pahat for 4 nights. I had a really bad bad stomach ache on Thursday and lasted till Friday when it g0t worsen. I got it when I was still in PJ. I went back Johor some sort of saying good bye to the relatives here in Batu Pahat. But somehow, it went to a different story.

As I couldn't bare the pain, my mum sent me to that 'specialist' hospital nearby my place (Putra Specialist Hospital, Batu Pahat). I was admitted into the emergency room. As soon as I lay on the bed for the check-up, they took my pulse rate and blood pressure. I was surprise that my pulse was only 40bpm. Which to me and the doctor at the moment thinking I was in high risk of heart collapse. He sent me to the ICU. I don't feel any headache or chest pain just my stomach ache.

I was put on the monitor, ECG, medication and all the attention from the nurses. But still I feel like normal. The doctor didn't even allowed me to go to the bathroom to pee instead peed in the bottle. Just to be caution that I didn't collapse. I keep on telling the doctor I am fine. As I explained to him, since he asked, that I am very active, I run, cycle go to gym everyday. Do cardio work out for 2 hours a day. I am trained to be an athelic. So yesterday, I went to visit this Cardio specialist in University Malaya in PJ and reconfirm that my heart is perfectly fine. The low rate is because I am fit, thanks to the gym. Well, I had to pay like shit loads of money for the ICU and the doctor visit.

And then I had to wait for another 2 weeks since the future employer told me that they need a doctor certification saying that I am fit for the job. I had to fax the letter to them and to Air Asia also to get back my ticket. All and all, it was an hassle just because of one stupid doctor!

2007-06-01T19:49:00.000+08:00

It's June 1, 2007! Another halfway to go for the year 2007. It's flying so fast that I couldn't keep the pace at all.

I'm having a really bad bad diarrhea and vomiting. My body aching and feverish. I think that I have a food related intoxication. Which I don't know from where and how.. I came back early this morning. I've been working overnight shift for the past week. It's been fine.. I kind of like it. Nobody that annoyingly shit will disturb me. It just between me and another guy. I'm thinking of calling off tonight since the diarrhea really bad. But then I'm thinking of just going to work and come back early again tomorrow morning.

I still haven't take my test result as yet. This is for my Macao employment medical check-up. I need to submit it by next week. Which is fine since I'm working in the afternoon shift next week. I'm gonna missed all the RPM classes though.. DAMN!

I've been listening to Home from Micheal Buble since that track has been used for cooling-off track for RPM. It just makes me thinking that exactly last year, I was really emotional whenever I listen to it (in fact I still am) because I keep thinking of coming back to Malaysia and had to leave New Orleans and now, whenever I listen to it.. I'm thinking of those good people that I left from New Orleans - Romettia, Chef Ming, Pinky, Mike, Chef Ray, Vanessa, Omni, Miss Anna, Miss Babara, Miss 'Crazy' Nat, Chef Bond, Chef Jerry, Exec Sous Chef Eric, Exec Chef Greg, Daron Victorian, Miss Carolyn, Terrence Madison and maybe some other people that I forgot the name off.

In another 2 months, it would be a year since I came back in Malaysia. Still.. I feel that I shouldn't have come back at all.

2007-05-20T23:23:00.000+08:00

I need another vacation.. Although it was just about 2 months since my last vacation to Cambodia and Thailand, but I do feel that I need a break now.. Work life is just plain tiring. I mean that I don't really enjoy working with this current company, more like at this current place.. the people around me are generally good to work with but the kitchen that I'm at is not full filing at all. I do feel like I need to go for totally make over on my career path now.

I got a job interview with one of the private hospital in Kuala Lumpur this Wednesday. I'm excited as I never work in this kind of environment before. It should be a totally new to me. Although the job will be the same but the environment is absolutely different. I'm a bit confuse now as I have to make a wise decision regarding where I want to be and who should I work with. As for right now, I'm still waiting for the Macao job work permit to be done and also if I do get the job with this medical center, I need to make that big decision. It's going to be difficult for me. I wouldn't mind if I only get small pay like around 2.5k for the medical center job and stayed in Malaysia for another few more years or go to Macao and earn 4k. Which one is better? As I would just follow my guts, I'm scared that I made the wrong one.. but then again, I don't want to think about this as I have not gone for the interview.

Other things that really bug me for the past few days is that people on the Macao side has been so quite about my status. I really need a firm answer about my work permit status. Have to give them a call later... Should be tomorrow...

I think I'm still not over with how I missed my life used to be. As I'm trying to get some sleep for this past few days, I keep on thinking about and remembering hard how my days would be back in New Orleans. It's been almost a year, but I'm terribly missed it.. I don't know why.. because I didn't really had a lot of things that I did when I was there, but I just feel the comfort level that I never had back when I was in New Orleans. Listening to Jack Johnson makes it more difficult for me... but I forced myself to listen to it, because I really want to remember on my memories when I was walking on the Decatur St going towards to Cafe du Monde for my weekly beignets and cafe au lait. Cycling on Elysian Fields Ave to go back to my apartment after hard day or night work. Going to Roberts Markets for my groceries. His music brings back lots of sweet memories to me. Not to mention when I had some trouble with myself and also during hurricane.. The sounds of his guitar, brings me the almost orgasmic feeling about New Orleans. I missed that place. Maybe I will be visit that place soon in April next year. If the Macao plan working on well.

2007-05-14T23:35:00.000+08:00

I'm exhausted and frustrated. First of all, my job in UK got canceled at very last minute. That sucks! Now I'm working with a new small hotel in downtown KL. Quiet happy with it but then my boss is a stupid talk-a-lot but do nothing kindda boss.. Bragging about how good he is.. but he just plain useless twat! I had to do everything for him and I did save his ass few times after only working for 3 weeks. Everyone knows about it..

I can't run anymore.. I injured my left knee so bad that I had to wear this knee guard for few weeks now and I tried to run again last night but then the pain coming only after 5 minutes running. It makes me so depress as I love running. It's the only things that I love to do nowadays. But then, I'm trying to love cycling. It's been quite a few session of cycling for the past few weeks. Getting love it, but it's not my first love.

Just after I finished my session tonight, I had conversation about how everything happened about my knee to the instructor. I told her that I love running so much that I injured my knee. I love running ever since I got back in Malaysia. I told her the reason that I love running coz that I could clear up my mind about all the shits that happened to me ever since I got back. To tell the truth, I'm depressing about my life here. I couldn't still accepting that I'm back in Malaysia. I wouldn't mind if I have a decent job with decent pay, but now, well, hospitality in Malaysia really bad.

I met Azam today with his wife and his son (soon going to be another one). Well, basically we talked about whom that we still keep in touch and my personal experience about Katrina. How I missed New Orleans... I told him that I might be in a wrong line of work since I don't feel needy to further up my career anymore. Even I told him that I got a job in Macau, but it's been silent for few weeks now. All of this makes me wondering that I'm not good enough.

Hemmy, my ex-highschool friend getting married in June.. Well, another one getting married... another thing to wonder about my life...

2007-02-24T21:44:00.000+08:00

Alright,

There's a few things happened to me lately... something really big.. of course my close friends knows about it.. No.. I'm not pregnant. No, I'm not getting marry even remotely getting engaged, just something big that I really happy about it!

Ok.. I get excited about the backpacking.. YAY! Less than a week now!! YAY!! Need to start packing... ERMMM... URGH!

What else? Oh ya! Finally decided to leave my current job for good! YAY!!! So long suckers!!! I'm moving on to better place... Less one person that you think incapable of doing his job.. haha.. all u have that one person that really can't do his job!! GOOD LUCK ON THAT! By the way, for all these while, I am the one who actually know what's going on in that station.. That person should have done his job, not me.. FEKKER!!!

2007-02-20T00:27:00.000+08:00

I'm back in Johor right now after months had not been able to come back. Well, it's not really exciting to be back home since there's nothing to do at all. But at least, now we have broadband here! Actually much better than the one that I have back in KL. But not in the mood to write this blog. Well, Later!

2007-02-10T22:08:00.001+08:00

Thaipusam 0701
Originally uploaded by aja.

Yeah.. finally I have posted some of the photos taken during Thaipusam in my flickr. Check it out!!

2007-02-10T19:42:00.000+08:00

I've been tagged by Karen!!

Part 1: On the Outside
Name : Erratic Me aka Erratic Thoughts
Date of Birth : 15 April 1979.
Current Status : Getting my restful night after work and gym.
Eye Colour : Black.
Hair Colour : Black.
Righty or Lefty : Righty but my lefty can do lot of things like my righty.
Zodiac Sign : Bitchy Aries.

Part 2: On the Inside
Your Heritage : Dad - Malay (Java blooded), Mum - My Grandfather is Malay/Northern Indian and Grandmother is Chinese .
Your Fear : People know my weekness.
Your Weakness: Gadget-maniac is one of them.
Your Perfect Pizza : I used to make my own pizza when I was in US. It would be BBQ Chicken with Jalapeño, Pineapple, Tomatoes and Fresh Basil! Try it, you'll love it!! Miss it though.

Part 3: Yesterday, Today & Tomorrow
Your thoughts first waking up : Have to get up to work.. urgh!
Your bedtime : I know I have at least 6 hours of sleep on work days or 8 hours on weekends.
Your most missed memory : My easy life (not really easy but kindda laid back) when I was in New Orleans, Louisiana. Missed the friends that I used to hang-out, missed the job that I have, missed the money that I get, missed the online shopping that I used to do, missed everything about New Orleans and of course missed the time when I traveling in US. Take me back there!!

Part 4: Your Pick
Pepsi or Coke : Coke.
McDees or Burger King : Burger King, if there is a Wendy's in Malaysia, I definitely go there! And Subway, Malaysia Subway SUCKS and Expensive!!!
Single or Group Dates : Blind Single Dates.
Adidas or Nike : Both
Lipton Tea or Nestea : Lipton Tea (any black teas and chamomile).
Chocolate or Vanilla : Chocolate.
Cappucino or Coffee : Coffee (espresso)

Part 5: Do You...
Smoke : Haha...
Curse : Most definitely.

Part 6: In the Past Month
Drank alcohol : Nope
Gone to the mall : Few times last month, only once this month.
Been on stage : When I was in Primary school. Very active on stage. Secondary not so. Last month, never.
Eaten sushi : In November.
Dyed your hair : Nope.

Part 7: Have You Ever?
Played a stripping game : Nope, but had tried playing with stripping pole when I was in Vegas. I was the only person that could hang upside down with both legs clinging to the pole. Very proud of myself. Not even girls could do that!!
Changed who you were to fit in : Are you kidding me! I don't have to change because I want to fit in. Hey I made couples of best friends when I was in US just being myself. I was a HIT there!!

Part 8 : Marrriage
Age you're hoping to be married : Never think about it... and never will i guess...

Part 9: In A Guy/Girl
Best Eye colour : Black.
Hair colour : Black.
Short or long hair : As long as it looks nice not messy.

Part 10: What Were You Doing?
1 minute ago : Reading Karen's blog.
1 hour ago : Running and working out in the gym.
4 1/2 hours ago : Working and talking with my parents.
1 month ago : Too many things to mention. Highlight- Got into trouble couple of times.

Part 11: Finish The Sentence
I love : being alive and enjoying what I am doing now.
I feel : angry at work because of someone.
I hate : lazy bastards and people who don't take accountability of their work.
I hide : my true feeling about things that I wish I could tell. Ermm.. what is that?? I wonder..
I miss : living and walking, enjoying myself in New Orleans. Miss the beignets and cafe au lait... Emmm.. Yummy.. and of course that frosted dessert from Wendy's.
I need : to break free thinking on what should I do now if my plan fails. Focusing on my job goal.

Part 12: Tag 5 People
1. RJ

2007-02-06T00:45:00.000+08:00

I'm on constipating

I have like 15 minutes to write about things that might be interesting to read. Well, first of all, ITS ALREADY FEBRUARY? GOD!! This is too soon to! I still wanted to be in January. You know when I realized, when I was looking at my music collections. I saw that few songs that was played in Feb 2006, when I was still living in the hotel in New Orleans. Well, in fact I lived in the hotel for quite sometimes in 2006, about 5 months I think.

Alright, other than that.. well, I think you might have guess it, I'm having constipation. It's been 4 days now. I didn't realized it also. Because I've been not focus of my pass-motion activity. So last night I took about a pack of prune to help, but well it did help but not much. So again I bought another pack of prune to be eaten tomorrow morning. I'm watching out my diet too.. I think because of my addiction of peanut butter makes me constipating. Did I ever tell that LOVE peanut butter? Especially the crunchy type. Anything with peanut butter, chocolate (well, I don't really like Reese's, it like a artificial peanut butter), ice-cream, cookies, everything on earth with peanut butter. I used to remember eating peanut butter smores during camping. I guess I have to stop eating peanut butter now.. And I aslo noticed that I gained few pounds by eating too much peanut butter. Hahaha..

Well, last Thursday, Parri (a good friend of mine) and me when to Batu Caves for Thaipusam. We were there for quite long time. Was planned to meet Karen and her new BF (I think) but ha.. they left before we even there! So, Parri and me took a look of pictures, this is my first time and second for her. So she has been aspecting what going to happened, but I'm still clueless. Well, I felt intimidated with some of them... pretty scary but it's fun. There were a lot of photographer.. equipped with some fancy dSLRs. But I guess, the camera doesn't really gonna bring stunning pictures, depending on how creative and lucky your are. Basically, I did enjoying my first Thaipusam. After that, we went to KLCC again, trying to meet up with Karen Chan, but then again, her phone was out. Then, I have the feeling another Karen might be there. Yeah, Karen LIM. My feeling was right. She was there with her sister and friends. We met and went for a coffee. That was the first time Parri and Karen Lim met eversince I left to US and BACK! Huh! They never really trying to meet when I wasn't here. Lame! We chatted for awhile until she went for a movie with her gang. Me and Parri was hangout and again, she met her long lost ex colleague in Starbucks. They chatted and I joined. We came back around 5pm.

I have stopped running religiously ever since the last week of January. I do run but not like last time until 10KM.. only like 5KM and slow paced. Trying not to injured my left knee. So that's why my Nike+ Challenge wasn't really good last month. Hope that I can run again like last time... Get well, my knee....

OK... It's official that I'm going to Cambodia and Thailand in March. I bought the ticket and planned it already. I'm not going alone, but with my buddy for 12 years. I'm getting really excited!!!

And I'm quiting my job at the end of Feb. Well, feel reluctant, but well.. I'll see about that later. Maybe something gonna happened in this month of February... Still waiting for a good offer from UK to come. A bit complicated to explain it here, but all I can say that, I might be leaving in April. Hopefully everything runs smooth... Hey, Chinese New Year is coming soon. And accordign to Lillian Too's Feng Shui.. this is a good year for Sheep. I'm was born in Sheep year and I'm an Aries. SO it's a DOUBLE GOAT! Haha.. Yeah.. I don't really believe in astrology but I'll take it in part of my guide.

Ok.. times up... going to bed!

2007-01-30T23:12:00.000+08:00

I think I should have call-it-done!

Today, again at work, I have become or show the bad side of me. I have become so frustrated at work. The people that I work with (some of them, ehem.. especially the management). One, I think my overtimes that I have done so far in the first 2 weeks of January aren't worth it. It's more like RM340 for more than 40 hours that I had done. The management told us that it's the Human Resource fault, but more likely the management (I mean the head of the department that I'm working at) fault. Because they didn't take the initiative to work the hours that we had done at the first place. As usual, I'm working at this so-called professionals., pointing fingers are their problem solver. haha.. Blimey for being ignorants about how much overtime payment worth in Malaysia, but I think it would not be less than what I'm getting now.

Ok, back to what happened today, our 'beloved' boss or our head of area (can't give much details) was on MC (on medical leaves) and as usual, he had been working 'so hard' that he had to take day off today... I'm being sarcastic here.. you get what I mean.. so leave me with another guy (yeah, still just two of us.. been waiting for more worker at least one to fill-up, but then again.. all we could hear were all BSes), and at the end of service, as usual just two of us gonna clean the whole area, and come this so called self-proclaim executive manager.. telling to make something special for this VVIP at the last minute. He practically well know about this earlier, but to ignunt to let us know. At least let me know so that I could have done prepare it earlier. But hell no.. Last minutes order is his speciality... just to make us suffer of cleaning and have to do overtime (which I doubt that I'm gonna get pay). So I just told him straight away, that this ain't gonna happened. As I make it clear, that who gonna help us cleaning as I'm gonna do the special order... I would have done it the best I could if he had told me earlier, at least an hour earlier.. I would have done it with my pleasure.. but well... He just plain ignunt, honey...

See, once I'm frustrated with the surrounding, I will be like this... But still I'm hoping not to stuck here, so I'm eagerly waiting for the boat calling my name to board to UK... I know I would have be better there... as what I have done when I was in US. Hopefully....

2007-01-27T22:43:00.000+08:00

It's not easy waking-up with broken hearted

I guess that's what I can describe every time I wake-up every morning. I feel the emptiness in me, not because I'm alone but because I feel so unworthy and missed. I was walking alone at night tonight for dinner and walk to Starbucks in Uptown to have a hot chocolate. I miss the one like in US (for limited time).

Anyway, while I was walking, the weather kindda good... windy and very cooling.. Just remind me of winter/spring time in NOLA. I still remember when ever on my days off, at night I would walk across French Quarters and have beignet and cafe au lait at Cafe Du Monde around 8pm ish.. waiting for my laundry to get done. The best part about it, was I could watch people walking or cycle by the Quarters. Listening to the street performer.

I still feel like I'm homesick even though that I'm at home.

2007-01-17T22:13:00.000+08:00

There are lots of stuffs need to be done with myself.. but seems to difficult to deal with it. Feel a bit lonely tonight. Listening to random songs from my iPod makes it worse. Thinking too much about the possibilities in the past that I never took the chance of doing it or something that I had done would have it done differently. Missing a lot of people today. Thinking on how life could be if I were in different place. Having the thought of randomness figuring that I would be crazy. Maybe crazy is a bit to harsh but it suit me well. Trying to run away from everything seems the ideal things to do right now. Damn! I'm bored. I'm bored to death. Seems to like it, the idea of passing away. Urgh! That's too much! Way to much! Which path should I go? I have no idea at all. Being covered with the skin that I never intended makes me feel scrutinized by everything at all. It's just the universe trying to fiddle me with everything that I may or may not owned on someone else's life. Wish it that it's simple, would gave up everything. It's just me and everything else.

2007-01-16T23:06:00.000+08:00

Ok.. This gonna be a quick one..

Today.. everything seems to be okay.. Went for running but not really in the mood.. so only did like 3KM.. then went for weight.. also not in a mood.. coz I'm a bit sleepy. Last night slept really late. I was talking on the phone with Romettia. She's like my best buddy when I was in New Orleans. I miss her. We talked like almost an hour. Catching up some update and stuffs. Somehow I got this nick of getting to know when someone is talking about me. She told me they were talking about me a day before that.. Hmm.. Every time I called her.. there might be a chance for her talked about me a day before or just were about to email me. Same thing to Meghan. Every time when I called her.. it must be her days off.

There were so much stuffs we talked over the hour. Miss my beignet and cafe au lait from Cafe du Monde! Ro was saying that she gonna have it for me today. Hahaha.. I wish I could hang out with her eating the beignet early in the morning or late afternoon like we used to do. Watching people passing by, the traffics and the tourist. And of course the street musician. Life was great back there... I miss it so much!

2007-01-14T23:24:00.000+08:00

This is Running resolution for the month of January...

2007-01-14T13:53:00.000+08:00

It just plain FUGLY! It's FUGLY and EXPENSIVE! I feel so cheated! I had to buy Crocs shoes a part of my complete uniform. It's terrible feeling when I have to fork out RM159 for that plastic shoe. DAMMIT!! This is another stupid point of working with someone who just plain stupid.

2007-01-13T22:30:00.000+08:00

The second week of work seems to be improving.. well, kindda. It's better than first week.. well almost. I'm much happier than before, well thinkso. I didn't managed to go to gym at all. Missed my runs for 5 days. That sucks. Being grouchy the whole week. Perhaps, I'm having mens' PMS. Hey, men do have suffer PMS.. read about it in the web. But I'm too young to have one. Maybe the place that I work make me older in a sec.

I miss US so much right now. Keep thinking about it. Miss the old times. I still remember the New Year that I celebrated last year in New Orleans. Well, it was really foggy. Can't even see in 2 meters distance at all. They had to cancel the firework. But we do still on the street. After around 1am, we went to the bar, Ryan's. Still remember how drunk Tucker was. Still remember how crowded Ryan's was. Still remember that Tucker was trying to hit this girl. Mike, Chef Ray, Christina was there too. Jerry was somewhere.. we were supposed to met up but he prefer to get drunk somewhere else. I still remember that I had called Stacy in MN and talked for minutes (she's working taking orders, she been working overnight shift for quite sometimes now) and talk about how year had passed and we have become friend almost a year (that time, we met on my very first day on my arrival in New Orleans, January 25 2005). Well, this year just an email. I'm there just to watch people behaving.

I went out for dinner with Suleen tonight. Asking her about her Vegas trip in May. Telling her about stuffs that I did when I was there. Well, makes me miss more of my US days. I'm wearing this shirt that I never wear since I got back in Malaysia, it still smells like my room in US. Ha! Also, I'm wondering why none of my ex-colleague in New Orleans never replied my emails. Maybe they have forgotten about me. Hmm..

I wonder how my life could be if I were somewhere else.. and I didn't go to US. Maybe I would much different than I am right now. I think I grew up a lot when I was there. Maybe the life there makes me realized that I need to be in control on my own life. That's what makes me now... Behaving weirdly, abruptly and maybe too emotionally.

Well, last week on Sunday, I emailed this guy that are in charge of my UK job thing, to let him know that I'm ready to leave again, since I don't really see me working in Malaysia coz of my 'lack of experience' in my line of job. I didn't get a better offer in Malaysia than I did when I got my first offer in UK in October last year (which I had to decline because of some personal things). And I got the reply last night. That was a good news. The guy told me that there is a big chance for me to leave by March. Well, that's great! That makes my day and perhaps will keep me smiling for the whole months. Of course, this also leave me a bit of worries... like how's the life in UK... Coz UK and US are totally different. Their culture and everything are so much different. Will I survive there... This goes back before I leave to US. The same questions popping in my head... but well.. I did tried my best in US.. and I think it paid off. I believe so.

On other thing, I really wanna go backpacking to Cambodia, Vietnam and Thailand before I leave to UK. But since Karen only available in March which I might be gone by then, perhaps I might consider of going by myself at the end of Feb or mid Feb. I'm still thinking about it.

I'm thinking of quiting my current job at the end of January for the sake of my UK plan. I think I should have to wait till everything is confirm and I got everything is done. Now it's too early to tell since I'm only has the rough idea about it. Hmm.. tomorrow gonna give a good think about it. Well, maybe gonna think it through while I'm running.

2007-01-06T19:27:00.000+08:00

Alright, I've been busy since the cafe is officially opened. Maybe I could post every end of the week instead everyday. I do say maybe but it doesn't mean that I have to post new post every week. This post was schedule for last week but I have not finished writing it up and saved it as a draft and totally forgot about it. ;) (this was posted on the 1/13/07)

Ok.. new year.. Well it start with kindda surprise to me (tell you about it later). I was really looking forward for new year where I think I'm going to start with a new life in Malaysia as well trying to re-adjust my life the way before I went to US. Work and personal. I spent the new year's eve in my room in front of the computer, writing and wishing my friends for new year.. I don't really bother to go out and party for new year.. since it's not a big deal to greet the new year by cramping and crowding with people and party with people like they not gonna survive and die the next day on new year at all. Well, I'm very optimistic.. so I always think that I'm gonna survive the new year, so I don't have to celebrate like them. I heard the count down and firework that they burnt and wasting the money just to commemorate the new year that always (or maybe not) every after 365 days. I think they should just give some of the money to the poor or helping out the flood victims. But hey.. it's better to give who actually have nothing to gripe on their life by giving the best firework show in their lives than to those who suffers. GET REAL PEOPLE! Ok.. maybe I haven't done much about the community service myself.. so I think I should just shut-up.

Well, on the new year, I met up with Karen in KLCC. It's not the ideal place to meet up there since the only best thing about KLCC is Kinokuniya Book Store.. other than that it just plain crap place with those expensive boutique selling those 'high quality' junks. Well, maybe I'm not rich enough to 'waste' my money on them, like some Datins or Datuks, but well, I think it such a rip-off by buying it in Malaysia since it's so FUCKING cheap in US. Well, by saying fucking, I really mean FUCKING RIPPED-OFF CHEAP! I feel pity for those Paris Hilton wannabes in Malaysia... Haha! How sad when they actually spending their hard earn money (or hard earn sugar daddy's money) on those stuffs when they know they can actually buy the same shits with 70% off in US!

Karen and me was talking about our back packing plan for March (which I don't think I could make it, fill-up with this later). We were supposed to catch "Night in the Museum" coz I've been waiting to see it since I was still in US but alas, it was fully booked. Sold out. Dang! Ended up with 'Eragon'. I did enjoyed it though. But I'm not a sucker for fairy tales and dragons. Just enjoy the movie...

Ok.. so far so good on the new year... well.. until the first day at work. Well, what I can say that, my job is spitefully shitty. Sorry to say that (if someone at work actually reading this). But for real, this is the most shittiest job I ever landed. I know it's just a temporary basis.. but gurl (or guys) .. this ain't my cuppa. The so-called management staffs don't really know how to open the restaurant. Aiming high but with zero skills on managing medium scale restaurant. All I can say after two weeks working there (actually I've seen it since the 3rd day starting working, that was before the restaurant was opened) they still having trouble of getting it done. We, I mean the cooks (there are only 5 of us at first week, now they are hiring more, total now 6) had to work from morning all the way at night. Oh, I have spoken about it on the 3rd day when the restaurant opened, regarding that I had to be the cashier on the second day, and a cashier and the cook on the third day. Running around like mad guy. HOW FUCK UP IS THAT! Seriously, think about it before you could open the restaurant la! And I had to talk (more like arguing) with the one of the management which I'm not really want to tell here, since our conversation it so horrific and it has to be consented by the great authority of my sanity. CLUE... I was being a mean, outspoken and straight-to-the point B. Well, what I can say from that incident, I'm kindda proud of myself of standing on my own, but well, scared to of because been to true about it. Err.. hope that this will never happened again.

Other than that, on the fifth day, well a day before the mentioned things happened, while I was walking back home from gym, some stupid and deprecated fuckers snatched my phone while I was talking. This shit never happened when I was even in New Orleans. I sometime talking on the phone on the street in New Orleans at night, but I never heard that someone got snatched. This is sort of bullshit happened when you didn't realized that you are living in the desperately-thinking-that-you-are-modern-country. Home sweet home... I think I'm missing something about the whole thing here... Malaysia is not safe anymore. Or I just forgot that she never been safe before. I'm pissed. I'm pissed coz I lost all the contacts in the phone. My Malaysian and internationals friends. Dammit! And at the same night, when I was almost reaching home, this another fecker driving recklessly almost knocked me out. What sort of bullshit that happened to me in one week. Hmm... Looking at the bright side.. well, perhaps all of this happened on the first week of the new year.. Hopefully.

2006-12-24T23:12:00.000+08:00

Gosh! It's been awhile since my last post.. Time really flies quick. I started my job since two weeks ago.. There's nothing to talk about my job here.. It's too depressing to think about it. I feel such a waste for me to turned down all the offers from Doha, Dubai and especially from UK for this job. This makes me really sad and thinking of New Orleans. Someone told me that day, after been awhile abroad, coming back home is actually hard to do and brave things to do. I left New Orleans with uncertain about my job and my life. I wish that I could never had to leave. I miss my friends there. Thinking about it.. makes me realizes that I have actually less friends here than there. Seems that all the friends that I have over here are busy. Seems can't keep up with work.

Things are so much different right now.. especially living in my own country.. been back here for almost 4 months has nothing that make happy to be back home. NOTHING! Maybe I'm just being to confuse with what I had before I left to US or what I had when I was in US.

Working in US had made me think about life back in Malaysia. People here work so hard even they don't have personal life at all. While I was there.. yes.. I worked harder than now.. but still we, my friends and I still managed to get out and hang out, at least fortnightly.

The only time that I have fun right now, is running after work. I would not think about work.. about life or about anything. I just keep on running. Thank GOD for the Nike+iPod thingy. It actually save my life. Hmm.. I can't wait to leave the country again.. I guess that my line of work required me to leave rather than stay in my own country. If people do not appreciate what I have.. better as well leave. I already got the plan work out. Hopefully that the new year 2007 will give me the esteem that I needed to be away again.

2006-12-03T20:10:00.000+08:00

UPDATE!
Damn! My phone is broken again! I hate this stupid Nokia phone.. and I going to meet up with one of my best friend tomorrow.. Iskh!!

2006-12-03T19:30:00.000+08:00

Ah.. Sunday.. Tomorrow was supposedly to be my first day at work, but again it will be delayed till next week. Another week to bump around which I really hate it.

Last week, I bought a new knifes set which cost me almost RM1k. Yeah.. I really need new knifes set since the last one that I bought in US lost due to the hurricane. Ever since then, I never bought any knifes at all. The whole time I've been using kitchen knifes.. I can't wait for it since Zwilling having sale here, they trying to clear up the 5-star knifes since they are discontinue that type of knife, replace it with TWIN Cusine. Personally, I don't really like 5-stars and Zwilling. I prefer Professional S and if not Zwilling, I prefer Wusthof knifes like my old knifes set.

I was thinking of going back to Johor this weekend but then I changed my mind.. after walking half way to the bus station. I seems to forget what is the reason of going back. HA! The main reason of going back was to get my brother's car which is still in the workshop since 3 weeks ago.. and to get my toolbox (my old kitchen utensil from my school days). But since the car haven't been fixed yet, and my job going to start next week, so I'm thinking of going back end of this week or maybe Thursday. My parents, sister and my brother and his wife are going to Bangkok end of this week, wish that I could go along.. but eehh.. I would prefer to go with just by myself. Like what I did when I went to New York City... It was fun, walking around in the big city alone and you can meet new friends from other places (if you friendly enough to talk with people that stay in the hostel). No fuss no time frame and no rush.. just you by yourself...

Today, I have completed 8KM running which is the furthest and longest running ever in my life. Which I'm really proud since I'm not in the mood to run today.. but sadly, I didn't do a lot of weight today. I felt intimidated with people at the free weight area, all those big bulky guys. So I did some machine assisted weight training, not bad but since I'm not in the mood.. well, I just quit after few machines. Maybe tomorrow I can concentrate more on weight than running. But I'm kindda in the Nike+ Plus challenge for December Run and in love with my Nike+ Shoes and iPod Nano attachment.. I'm curious those people in the challenge could run about 20KM a day.. WOW! I'm impress.. hmm... maybe I'm just gonna do some 5KM running and weight.. Can't run everyday... Trying to prevent injuries.. Ya'heard!!

2006-11-28T02:02:00.000+08:00

Well, it's hard to keep posting new entry after been awhile not blogging. First thing first, I went to my dad's hometown in Sabak Bernam last Saturday for one of my cousin wedding. It's been awhile since the last time I went back there. Or should I say it's been ages... I think almost around 6 years plus maybe more, I couldn't even remember the last time I've been there.. But to my surprise, things haven't changed a bit, maybe some.. It's been a good to be back there even for awhile, spending only couple hours. Met up with my cousins on my dad's side. Especially talking with Kak Mera, of whom my dad's brother daughter. Haven't seen her since my second brother got married 3 years ago... We exchange some views about how different the feeling after being awhile aboard. Telling her about my hurricane experiences and after. It's been surreal to tell the experiences... but I guess people are eager to know what's really going on before, during and after the hurricane. And somehow I'm glad to be there before, during and after the hurricane to tell the my experience.

2006-11-23T12:48:00.000+08:00

Well, it's been almost 3 months since I got back here in Malaysia.. I've been urging to write blog again for quite sometimes but keep on procrastinating about it. But since its been only like a little more that a month for a new year.. I decided to start writing again. At first I wanted to continue writing from the last entry of my previous blog, but I think that would takes like months to recall everything that happened after all the stuffs that I've been dealing after the hurricane, getting displaced, living in hotels for months, and eventually flying back home, Malaysia.

I'll try to relate some entry with all my experiences while I was in New Orleans, LA because I want to treasure the memories that I had in New Orleans and USA.

To start off.. Finally I got a job here in Malaysia after being bumping around for almost 3 months. The job starting in early December. I'm really looking forward to it. I also being offered with few jobs before this just that I'm not interested to take in either because the financial and the pay weren't good enough. I had one in UK (which was I being offered with decent pay), one in Doha, Qatar (very good position but not equally good pay as in US) and Dubai (they trying to kid me with low pay). The reason that I didn't take the offers in Middle East because of the simple reason, HIGH COST LIVING! If they wiling to pay me as much as they pay for other expats from western countries, I will take it. Maybe in the future. Even I'm officially taken (employed) my plan to go to UK still going on. I'll start looking for the right job early next year, as my plan is to leave Malaysia by mid next year.

I start to join gym again last week and start running again. I missed working out and I start to gained weight slowly after the hurricane and getting drastically uncontrollable for the last 3 months. So joining gym is a good idea for me to keep off the weight. I'm hooked with my iPod Nano plus Nike+. It's really keeps me motivated to run. I still remember when I was in New Orleans, I managed to loose about 25 pound in the first 4 months just because I've been cycling to and from work and did workout in my room with my reformer machine (which I lost it after the hurricane, ironically I just finished paying the monthly installment on the very week.). The diet during those days were pretty good because it's easy for me to get the fresh food comparing in Malaysia. I'm not saying the in Malaysia we can't get fresh good food, but it's just too expensive. To start with cereal, most of the cereals here are high content in sugar. While in US, my fave was Kashi's Go Lean. It's cheap too! Vegetables and fruits were easy to fine at decent price. Maybe I should stop comparing at least this moment. Hehehe

The good thing that happened to me ever since I got back was to see my family and friends. Last Raya was good because I've been able to meet with them again.. Although, I couldn't met with some my high school friends but that's okay.

I was reading on Karen's blog (she's the longest female friend that I ever have and still in contact), she just got back from backpacking in Penang and Pangkor. I'll bet she had a really great time. That just remind me of doing back packing in US with bunch of crazy and weird strangers and by myself in total of 24 states. Those were the experiences that I will never forget. Ever!! I will definitely gonna do that again later this year before leaving to UK but depending on my financial situation later.